Aborting Sikhi by Kamalla Rose Kaur

(After eight years of studying and writing about Sikhi via the internet, I have returned to university, age 53. I am finishing up my Bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing and will soon enter the Masters program, also in Creative Writing. This article was written for a university class I just completed on Global Women.)


Kamalla Rose Kaur

I am very upset this morning and need to cry.

Statistics today reveal the genocide/abortion of female feotus continues.

1500 amongst British Indian born women over last 15 years or so.

7 Million on the subcontinant. Most highest number ??

Punjab and Gujrati communities

Amongst the most prosperous!! Sikhs and Jain communities

Jaswinder Kaur, Sikh woman posting on Sikh internet forum.

Why are so many Sikhs of Northern India participating in female foeticide and why can’t Sikhs seem to stop it? Down through humanity female infanticide is usually linked with hopeless poverty. But Sikhs in India- and not low income, uneducated Sikhs either – are aborting their futures, depriving their o so precious and valued sons of wives. This is especially sad and horrifying because the Sikh religion promotes womens equal rights. Sikh dogma and doctrine specifically forbids female infanticide; also the Hindu practice of sati and the Islamic practice of veiling women. Sikhs have been trying to keep their culture against amazing odds since the very conception of their religion, 500+ years ago. Now in one generation, due to one bad sad sin, there are no longer enough Sikh women being born.

Infanticide, Abortion Responsible for 60 Million Girls Missing in Asia
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
By Sherry Karabin

…In India, where the child sex ratio is calculated as the number of girls per 1,000 boys in the 0-6 years age group, the problem is severe. The 2001 Census shows there are only 927 girls per 1,000 boys, representing a sharp decline from 1961 when that number was 976. In certain parts of the country there are now fewer than 800 girls for every 1,000 boys.

“The problem is more prevalent in the northern and western states, where prosperity, rapid fertility decline and patriarchal (male heads the family) mindsets combine to put girls at risk,” said Ena Singh, the assistant representative at UNFPA.

My intention is to communicate, to the best of my abilities, why Sikhs have this horrible problem, how Sikhs are responding to it and why it is hard for Sikhs to get anything done at this point in their history.


Hear my prayer, my Only Master; all beings and creatures were created by You. You preserve the honor of Your Name, O Beloved One, Cause of causes.

Dear Creator/Creation, Beloved, please, make me Your own. Whether good or bad, I am Yours.

(Pause and reflect)

The Almighty heard my prayer; cutting away my bonds, my Beloved has adorned me. The Beloved One has dressed me in robes of honor, and blended this humble servant with the One True Master.

Now Nanak is revealed in glory throughout the world.

The Siri Guru Granth Sahib

Scripture and Only Guide and Guru of the Sikhs

Page 653 Guru Arjan

“Kamalla!” A Western academic confronts me, “North India is one of the most macho places on earth! Sikhi is male dominated from one end to the other.”

“Not Sikhi.” I argue. “Sikhs! Particularly those still living in India. There is hope for Sikhs in the West. The younger generation practices gender equality much better than the older folks.”

“Kamalla, they are losing their younger generation in the West and in India too.” my friend insists. “Hard as it is for you to believe, the fact that Sikhi is so progressive theologically didn’t matter. When we study Sikhs we have to study what they do, not just what they say they ought to be doing.”

“No. Wrong. What you say is true in some obvious Western sense, but I am a Sikh. Academics need to get it through your heads that what a Sikh is and what a Sikh is not is defined by our scripture and Only Guide, by the Siri Guru Granth Sahib. According to the Sikh Guru/scripture, those who practice gender inequality are not True Sikhs. They are phoney.”

“So the majority of Sikhs down through history and in present times are not really Sikhs? Is that what you are saying?”

“That is correct. They are all phoney Sikhs at the level that they do not follow Sikh teachings as set out in the Sikh scripture. But of course, only God and Guru can judge who is a good Sikh – Sikh just means ’student’ as you well know.” I retort and then add, “Sikhs don’t even believe that you have to be Sikh to be one of the Almighty’s best beloveds either. The Sikh Guru/scripture reminds readers all the time that good honest, loving and humble people everywhere, irregardless of beliefs or culture are better ‘Sikhs’ than people claiming to be Sikhs who fail to follow Sikh teachings.”

Sikhs will argue about all sorts of things but we almost unanimously, across all schisms and sects, agree that it is our scripture, our Holy Book – our Guruji – who defines what it is the be a True Sikh.

For our purposes here I will make a distinction between Sikhs and True Sikhs. True Sikhs follow the teachings of the Sikh Guru/scripture. Sikhs, on the other hand, are simply born into Sikh families.


Here is a very brief history of Sikhi from the UNITED SIKHS website. UNITED SIKHS is a global Sikh charity organization.

Sri Guru Nanak Sahib Ji founded the Sikh way of life in the fifteenth century as an ideology to reconcile the Human Race. Guru Nanak was a revolutionary teacher- his teachings that women and men were equal, that caste was unimportant, and that there are many paths to the One God- were ahead of their time. The title “Guru,” or enlightener, was passed onwards to 9 more individuals throughout Sikh history, who shared the light of Truth of Sri Guru Nanak Sahib Ji. These 9 Gurus also shaped the legendary Sikh traditions. In 1708 CE, the 10th Guru, Gobind Singh, bestowed the title of Guru upon the holy scripture, the Guru Granth Sahib, which is recognized as the eternal enlightener.

Some Sikh men and women join the Khalsa, the defense only Knighthood established by Guru Gobind Singh (the last embodied Sikh Guru/Teacher) in 1699. They are required to keep the five symbols of the five Khalsa vows on their bodies. The symbols are uncut hair (Kesh), a comb (Kanga) a dagger (Kirpan), a steel bracelet (Kara) and underwear (Kacheras). These symbols remind members of the Khalsa Khighthood of their vows, which include being clean, free of intoxicants, and vowing to fight oppression and abuse, racism, sexism, caste and classism, on behalf of the weak against corruption and tyranny. They must never attack. Again the Khalsa is a defense-only Knighthood. Khalsa men wear turbans and many Khalsa women wear turbans as well.

But only a fraction of all Sikhs join the Khalsa Knighthood.

Confusingly, quite a number of Sikhs, especially Sikh men, who do not belong to the Khalsa, also do not cut their hair and they wear turbans. This is often an indication that a Sikh is “practicing” being Khalsa and plans to take his/her vows in the future. Or often as not, Sikhs feel it is a good thing for Sikhs who have not joined the Khalsa to wear turbans and beards because it supports Sikh cultural identity, which many Sikhs feel is at risk.

The downside, of course, is that there are thousands and thousands of Sikhs who wear the “uniform” of the Khalsa Knighthood who are not keeping the Khalsa vows. For instance, it is common to witness Sikh men in turbans drinking alcohol in public or smoking cigarettes. This of course greatly errodes the effectiveness and harms the image and reputation of the Khalsa Knighthood worldwide.

There are 20 million people on earth who call themselves Sikhs. Yet like other religions, many or most Sikhs are secular. They come from Sikh families and visit Gurdwaras for weddings and funerals and as social centers, but they are not devout nor do they claim to be.

Since aborting female foetuses is strictly and heavily banned by the Sikh religion, the middle and professional class Sikhs in India who are choosing sons over daughters are secular Sikhs by definition.


Sikhs have always considered themselves to be a separate and distinct religion from Hinduism. Yet from the point of view of most Hindus, Sikhi is just another sect of Hinduism. Hinduism is inclusive like that. Any and all beliefs and practices that have arisen in India are part of the whole brew and called Hinduism.

However, the founder of Sikhi, Guru Nanak, taught a Way that is quite distinct from both Islam and Hinduism, though he was affected deeply by both religions of course. In the West there is no dispute over whether Sikhs are distinct from Hindus. Sikhs are allowed to define themselves just like all the Western religions and sects do.

Approximately half of all Sikhs follow various “leaders” past or present – Sants, Babas, Yogis, Jathedars, Deras.

Another large percentage of Sikhs holds the Siri Guru Granth Sahib, the Sikh Holy Book, as their one and only Guide and Guru. They do not believe in avatars and they wire direct, as individuals, with “Guruji”, their source of Sikh teachings. This second group, to which I belong, has at times been called “fundamentalists” by Western scholars because we take the SGGS as literal truth. But the SGGS is a very very different scripture from the Bible. There is no history or stories in the SGGS, rather it is the hymns/poetry/teachings of Nanak. Nanak’s approach to religion is distinctly not woo-woo and no faith in miracles is required in Sikhi.

The first and foremost belief of all Sikhs is that “The Creator and the Creation are One”. Sikhs seek to experience nondualistic perception, to experience and rejoice in the One Reality all around them. So called “fundamentalist” Sikhs are more like Humanists or scientically oriented agnostics than they are like Christians, Hindus, or Muslims.

A third large subset of all those who call themselves Sikhs promote the Dasam Granth – the writings of Guru Gobind Singh- as equal canon with the Siri Guru Granth Sahib.

From a Westerner’s perspective these three types of Sikhs are distinct enough in practice and theology to be considered different religions or sects.

For a detailed geneology of Sikh sects: http://philtar.ucsm.ac.uk/encyclopedia/sikhism/index.html


For a very short time Sikhs had their own country in Northern India, and then the Brits invaded. The British fought a war against the Sikhs and won, but they fell in love with the Sikhs. Thus the British helped the Sikhs and they also hindered the Sikhs.

Sikh Central is presently in India but Sikhs in diaspora have no representation in the present (British established) Sikh religion administration. Some/many accuse Sikh Central of being infiltrated by nonSikhs or taking bribes, or corporate lobby money. Some/many disagree!

Gyani Jarnail Singh, a Sikh scholar from Malaysia explains:

Yes the SGPC – elected by the million or so eligible “SIKHS” (according to SRM – Sikh Code of Conduct) every five years according to the British Govt sponsored Gurdwara Act 1925..is a sort of Sikh Central.

Its authority is confined to old Punjab – now divided into Punjab/Himachal/Haryana. Efforts are underway to take away Haryana out of its spehre by forming a Haryana SGPC. Delhi already has a DGPC for Delhi gurdawras and the Patna Takhat as well as Hazoor Sahib Deccan are independently controlled by their states.

So not only are the few MILLION Disapora Sikhs not reprsented in the SGPC….so are a few million Sikhs in the rest of INDIA ( those outside Punajb/Haryana/himachal).

So in a way the Sikh Central is a very MINORITY sort of “Sikh central”…similar to if the few citizens of Vatican were to be Christian Central on behalf of the 1 billion or so christians…

The point to note is that the Govt of India holds the “Elections”… so it decides when and when… For example during the tenure of Jathedar GS Tohra…he was defacto President ( together with his assembly) for a total of FIVE TERMS..25 years ++ as the Govt decided to have NO ELECTIONS. Thus it is a Sikh Central over which the SIKHS have absolutley NO CONTROL. GS Tohra was kept in power for a quarter century….for reasons known/unknown ?? and the SIKHS coundnt do a damn thing about it.

Due to the SGPC being a “Financial Powerhouse” Goluck money from all historicl shrines runs into hundreds of millions yearly…anyone in control of it is in POWER. Inspite of the Indian govt using all sorts of “proxies”….newly set up Gurdwar Boards and such…the SGPC has traditionally been won by the Akali DAL…now the personal fiefdom of the BADAL Family/Dynasty…since the 1970’s !!

Thus when “POLITICS” rules the roost..invariably shady chraacters stand and win…through money laundering/vote buying/alcohol flows freely, hoodlums roam freely and drugs etc..every weapon in the arsenal is used to retain the status quo…95% of the SGPC members are TAINTED heavily. The one or two “religious” ones get voted out subsequently or turn over a “old” leaf and join the rascals.


Sikhs in diaspora also have no central unified means of governance or headquarters. Every Gurdwara is independent and control of Gurdwaras by one sect or another is common. Sikhs who follow various Sants and Babas or embrace the teachings of other leaders, and “fundamentalist” Sikhs, who hold the SGGS as our only Guru, often end up worshipping in the same Gurdwaras, as do the more militant Guru Gobind Singh followers. Add to this the generation gap caused by Sikh youth embracing Western culture, and it is not so surprising that Sikh Gurdwaras can at times become political, hot and heavy.

Harmander Singh from the Sikhs in England organization explains some of the problems Sikhs in diaspora have. He believes that the main issue is:

The elders’ die-hard attitude and desire in seeking answers from their peers in the Punjab to problems they face in the West,


1. Factionalism based on ‘Jathebandis’ , the anti-Sikh practices such as ‘caste’ based groupings, gender discrimination and taking advantage of the deference to age by those who are younger than them.

2. The abject failure in accepting that age alone does not qualify one to be a ‘leader’ but it only helps if some wisdom was gained along the way in getting to their age. It is assumed that competency is automatic and only comes with age. The fact that many who hold positions of ‘power’ within the Sikh community somehow are unable to divorce their personal ego nurturing actions from the responsibility that comes with the positions they hold. As a result, when something good has happened, people who were once thought to be dead suddenly come out of nowhere for the photo opportunity but are nowhere to be seen when things are not so good or very bad – in such instances, it is always someone else’s fault and communication skills are suddenly ‘missing’ – an opportunity lost in promoting links with the media.


As shocking and also self defeating as it is, the reasons Sikhs abort female foetusses is that they want to have sons. It is greed in some sense.

Despite Sikh teachings, Sikhi worldwide is tremendously male dominated. In India sons are thought to be breadwinners while daughters are expensive. Births of sons are celebrated and births of daughters are often greeted with regrets, condolences and silence. In the traditional India family, when a daughter marries she moves into her husband’s family home, under the direction of her mother-in-law. One day, if you have a son, he will marry and his new wife will be under you. This is the height of woman’s power. Being a mother and ultimately the family matriarch is what life offers to women in traditional India families.

The United Nations website on Women and Violence reports::

Son preference affects women in many countries, particularly in Asia. Its consequences can be anything from foetal or female infanticide to neglect of the girl child over her brother in terms of such essential needs as nutrition, basic health care and education.

In China and India, some women choose to terminate their pregnancies when expecting daughters but carry their pregnancies to term when expecting sons.

According to reports from India, genetic testing for sex selection has become a booming business, especially in the country’s northern regions. Indian gender-detection clinics drew protests from women’s groups after the appearance of advertisements suggesting that it was better to spend $38 now to terminate a female foetus than $3,800 later on her dowry.

A study of amniocentesis procedures conducted in a large Bombay hospital found that 95.5 per cent of foetuses identified as female were aborted, compared with a far smaller percentage of male foetuses.

The problem of son preference is present in many other countries as well. Asked how many children he had fathered, the former United States boxing champion Muhammad Ali told an interviewer: “One boy and seven mistakes.”

Though it is only Sikhs in India who are engaged in widespread abortion of female foetuses, studies in the UK also indicate that UK Sikhs prefer sons and that is that.

From: Demography of immigrants and minority groups in the United Kingdom. London, England, Academic Press, 1982. :169-92.

The data were obtained in a questionaire survey of about 3000 married Asian Sikh women, living in West London. The main reason for the study was to find out whether Asian immigrants had any difficulties in adopting modern methods of birth control. Another reason was an interest in the nature of cultural influences on fertility and birth control practice. Sikhs were chosen because they were the largest of the Indian religious groups in Britain according to a national survey in 1974. The ideal family size for most Sikhs was 2 or 3, and they resembled the general population in the practice of birth control. Most survey respondents maintained their family size by modern methods of birth control, which were adopted early in marriage. Whatever methods used, they seemed to be effective, since fertility among Sikhs and other Asians is declining. Where Sikhs do differ from the general population is in their very strong preference for sons (84%). Some of the evidence on achieved fertility, contraceptive practice, and reasons for having or not having a 3rd child suggests a stronger bias towards a family of 2 children than is revealed by the preference scores. The Sikhs emphatic preference for sons may prompt some parents to produce at least 1 more child than they would have otherwise had.

I asked Harmander Singh from Sikhs in England for his thoughts on male domination within Sikhi:

An instrumental element of succession of goods/assets in the laws of many countries, where the West has had or continues to have an influence, is along male heirs. Sikhs, as opposed to Sikhi, have fallen prey to these prevalent legal precedences.

The ‘little prince’ syndrome is also linked to the difference of treatment between the genders.

Paradoxically, younger generations are driven away from all religions by the continued outdated and inconsistent application of sexist values – sadly this also has had an influence on the Sikh community which is run by ‘politically’ motivated and backed (mis)leaders. The ultimate effect will be the devaluing of the faith by those who are meant to be preserving it.

The balance of Miri-Piri has swung too far towards Miri under the invisible hand of the anti-Panthic elements. (Sikhi teaches that the mundane or temporal plane – Miri – and the spiritual plane – Piri – are One and need to work together)

Although there is the Christian ethos of ‘blame the sin, not the sinner’ , I feel that time has come to stop the rot, and to blame the sinners too for they should know better and pay for their sins – driving these hypocrites away from positions of power should be the start of the clean up process.


Lacking any direct political way for Sikhs to stop the abortion of Sikh baby girls in India Sikh women activists use the internet. They attempt to use the dogma of the Sikh religion to convert fellow Sikhs away from its male dominated worldview.

“Our Gurus did their utmost to make Sikh women equal partners. Guru Amar Das Ji sent out Sikh women to spread Sikhi. Alas, we have lost trace of those women. The worst situation now is that some of the Sikh women have lost their right to accept Will of the Creator when they are forced to abort female fetuses. The Sikh women need to come forward and express themselves as they did in our Guru’s days and become mentors to the Global women.”

Satnam Kaur, politician, London UK

From Sikh Women.com website:

Sikhism is unique in recognizing unequivocal equality for all human beings and specifically for both men and women. Among equality of all human beings, fundamental aspects of Sikh theology include implicit gender equality and independence for women. The spiritual beliefs of Sikhism (revealed to Guru Nanak in 1469) propose social reform of women’s roles in society. Sikhism advocates active and equal participation in congregation, academics, healthcare, military among other aspects of society. Female subordination, the practice of taking father’s or husband’s last name, practicing rituals that imply dependence or subordination are all alien to the Sikh principles. The universal principles of Sikhism and the spiritual beliefs are to be practiced daily and incorporated in day to day living.

Ideally, if each of us truly incorporated the Guru’s teachings in our daily lives, this would be a perfect world to live in. There would be no bickering over dowry, there would be less excuses to perpetuate violence. Equality of Women in Sikh Ideology and Practice would render moot the issues such as, “What Rights do Sikh Women Have? or What is a Women’s Identity?

The Guru’s defended our freedom and taught us to live free of bondage and tyranny. If Guru Nanak or Guru Gobind Singh were living amongst us, they would be terribly disappointed. Although some outdated traditions are still practiced, they are certainly not a reflection of Sikhi in our lives.

Sikhism equal rights extend to all beings. Acceptance and incorporation of those with special Needs, the disadvantaged, the poor or those without a gender designation are no exception to the rule.

From the Sikhs.org website:

At the time of the Gurus women were considered very low in society. Both Hindus and Muslims regarded women as inferior and a man’s property. Women were treated as mere property whose only value was as a servant or for entertainment. They were considered seducers and distractions from man’s spiritual path. Men were allowed polygamy but widows were not allowed to remarry but encouraged to burn themselves on their husbands funeral pyre (sati). Child marriage and female infanticide were prevalent and purdah (veils) were popular for women. Women were also not allowed to inherit any property. Many Hindu women were captured and sold as slaves in foreign Islamic countries.

In such a climate Guru Nanak Dev, the founder of Sikhism shocked the entire society by preaching that women were worthy of praise and equal to men. Five hundred years later, the rest of mankind is only now waking up to this fundamental truth. The Gurus actively encouraged the participation of women as equals in worship, in society, and on the battlefield. They encouraged freedom of speech and women were allowed to participate in any and all religious activities including reading of the Guru Granth Sahib.


It is both sad and fascinating to watch and hope that Sikhs will be able to convert fellow Sikhs to Sikhi. Still, Sikh men appear much more concerned about the schisms within Sikhi and the politics in India than about fighting for women’s rights. Sikh men, even the “fundamentalist” ones, have not risen up or bankrolled Sikh women’s efforts to establish Sikh gender equality in Sikh families, communities and Gurdwaras. Sikh women activists have few male allies.

On the other hand Sikh women are welcomed into the Khalsa Knighthood and more and more young Sikh women are becoming Khalsa. Khalsa women are theologically encouraged to be leaders who can initiate others into the Khalsa as well, yet no woman in truth has ever done so (except in a couple Sant/Baba groups).

Meanwhile, the Indian government has outlawed the use of technology to discern the gender of unborn children. Here is a PBS video about the gendercide problem in India.

Karabin Sherry. “Infanticide, Abortion Responsible for 60 Million Girls Missing in Asia.” Fox News.June 2007 http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,281722,00.html

“About Sikhs.” UNITED SIKHS. http://www.unitedsikhs.org/aboutsikhs.php

Singh, Jarnail “Quick Guide To Sikh Politics” Soulbride’s Kitchen https://kamallarosekaur.wordpress.com/2007/12/27/sikh-politics/

Singh, Harmander, “State of Sikh Relations” Soulbride’s Kitchen https://kamallarosekaur.wordpress.com/2008/03/08/harmander-singhs-state-of-union-address/

“Women and Violence” United Nations Department of Public Information February 1996

Coleman, D, ed. Demography of immigrants and minority groups in the United Kingdom. London, England, Academic Press, 1982. :169-92.

Singh, Vishavjit. Sikhtoons.com http://www.sikhtoons.com

“Equality”. Sikh Women.Com

“Women in Sikhi” The Sikhism Homepage



Filed under Kamalla Rose Kaur's Writings, Multicultural, Seva - Helping Others, Sikh Women's Movement, Sikhi, VIDEOS, World Women's News

26 responses to “Aborting Sikhi by Kamalla Rose Kaur

  1. Gurmit Singh

    Many thansks for the write-up.

    In fact, it is not a religious problem. It is a social problem arisen due to greed for dowry and domination by male society. In Stanza 19 of Asa Kee Vaar, Guru Nanak had raised his strong voice for restoring equal status for women. Also in the Sikh Reht Maryada, though in practice several equal rights have been denied by SGPC and its Head ministers.

    Sikh women in Punjab should start agitating but like a cow they continue to be too docile and often they are also to be blamed – not fighting for their equal rights and status in society.

    Please continue to awaken them because women are more important as otherwise human growth will suffer.
    With bet wishes,

  2. Jeetan

    I think problem in north India or punjab is not religious but social as gurmit mentioned in above comment. Punjabi culture and religion are totally different, culture promotes drinking etc but religion forbids it, culture pushes male dominance but religion promotes gender equality. I think those people who are involved in abortions etc. are not practicing sikhs but are sehjdhari sikhs and are more influenced by their culture not faith, a true follower of Baba Nanak can not abort a girl

  3. Satnam Kaur

    A real Sikh woman will not carry out such acts. Even the so called Sikh women are not Sikhs. As Kabir says if a mother gives a birth to a bad child she may as well be sterile. If the would be Sikh women won’t act as Sikhs they might as well not be born.

    There is a population explosion in India. I think nature has made these people mad as way of reducing the women population to reduce birth rate.
    We must not call them Sikhs, the stats are only Panjabi and Gujrati women.

  4. Kirpal Singh Nijher

    Dear Kamalla Rose Kaur Jee,

    You have done an excellent job in hitting the nail right on its head by writting this very informative and truthfull article about the Sikhs and the un-Sikh practices that have creeped into the Sikh arena..

    Thanks a million for your excellent article.

    Kirpal Singh Nijher

  5. sutprem


    I am suprised you are still holding on to the mental construct that a religion is different from the culture that created it.

    When I was just starting to look at what 3HO really was, my first reflections came from a Cultural Anthropology class. My teacher was a very socially aware feminist, not a Western intellectual. What I learned from that class and 3HO is religion is 25% divine inspiration and 75% culture in my humble educated opinnion and personal life time experience.

    After spending the last year looking at Islam, and Buddhism as well over the years it is so easy to see where the religion digressed from the original and often socially revolutionary inspiration at it’s beginings.

    All religions, by the nature of human needs for social structure in order to avoid chaos, develop collective behaviors and patterns of the base culture of it’s inception. My anthro teacher gave us a guideline for loooking at religion it is : when you have groups of little bands of 25 people you have an earth based worship of spirit in order to make sense of life, but once that population reaches 1,000 individuals it always turns into religion with all its rules and regulations. These are designed specifically to deal with “crowd control”, its just human nature.

    Infanticide(of both genders) was practiced by many native peoples to deal with unwanted pregnancies because only one or two children could be kept alive by peoples who were constantly moving, like hunter/gatherers and pastoralists. You might want to study froma cultural anthropological perspective, the global cultural history of female infanticide.

    The abortions you describe must be a new development based on the fact that people can now tell the gender of a child before its born. The dowry system has a lot to do with this practice. In some cultures men pay the family a “bride price” to marry their daughter to prove their ability to provide for the young woman, and the children. I don’t know if the pactice you discuss is also prevelent in those cultures as well. In some both families have to put up money for a marriage.

    The bottom line is that the human species is flawed and its history shows a constant tendency toward violence of its own members. The especially Western and East Indian assumption, that human beings are the highest intellegent life form on the planet is not shared by all cultures, it easy to see why. A Native American saying “a frog doesn’t drink up all the water from the pond in which it lives” says much about our general human inability to find balance in our own behavior amongst ourselves and in relation to the rest of the panet.

    There is a bigger picture in your paper, by narrowing it so much to Sikki you are missing a big point, Sikki is yes, another inspired religion which has gone the way of all human tendency. The struggle of humanity is not weather people live to their religious/spiritual dictates but is; can we become bigger than that, can we find a collective way to a higher more balanced way of being part of life on Planet Earth.

  6. Spreznib

    “I am suprised you are still holding on to…”

    * this is snotty new-age-speak, and unnecessary.

    “to the mental construct”

    * all thought is “mental construct”. It’s what we do with words. Except that in SOME religions (Hinduism, for example, though not Sikhi), spiritual notions of mental activity tend to leak into realms like science and public discourse where they’re really not appropriate.

    “that a religion is different from the culture that created it.”

    * OH – this is the point you’re trying to get to behind the mammalian power-tripping. She doesn’t share your belief in the identity of (or, from some other perspectives, the inability or unwillingness to perceive the difference between) religion and culture.

    So is Judaism the culture of Israel’s ruling class? Or the culture of the Borscht Belt comedians?

    OF COURSE a religion is different from the culture that created it, otherwise there wouldn’t be two things, and two words for them, and two sets of associated behaviors, and two sets of beliefs and habits, and two sets of laws, and two sources (in most cases except maybe Islam) of ultimate authority.

  7. kamallarosekaur

    Hi Sutprem,

    I have no problem admitting to believing that Sikh culture as taught by the SGGS and Punjabi culture are completely different. Truly there are many many good Sikhs practicing Sikh culture, not Punjabi culture. There can be many more if Creator/Creation finds it amusing to have it be so.

    I have always been counter-culture in my relationship to my own culture. I hope there is a difference between Sikhi – as I practice it, day in and day out – and USA or Punjabi mass culture. I find Sikhi to be easy with great results.

    I think it will take a great raise in mass human consciousness but Sikhs will pull off another great feat or two, show the rest of us how. They have done it several times before. Mustn’t discount their history.

    You and I have witnessed great consciousness raising movements in our times.

    Meanwhile, I am a English major (last time I went to university I was a Religious Studies major) and I am extremely in love with the SGGS. I love it. I am gaga over the Sikh scripture and can’t wait for an accurate and beautiful English translation. Like Guru Amar Das writes in his famous prayer/hymn called Anand Sahib:

    I am in ecstasy, O my mother, for I have found my True Guruji.

    I have found my True Teacher, with ease, intuitively, and my mind resonates with the music of bliss.

    The jewelled melodies and their related celestial harmonies are singing through this Shabad/Hymn.

    My Beloved One dwells forever within the minds of those who sing this Shabad.

    Says Nanak, I am in ecstasy, for I have found my True Guru.

  8. I am ashamed to see the alarming rate of female-feticide in Punjab (well, any rate above zero ought to be alarming enough) but of late, I am also encouraged to see, within the Sikh community, an increasing awareness of this social evil.

    As a first step, we at least are talking about it among ourselves rather than becoming paranoid about Sikhi when outsiders point it out to us, and we – defending our community/culture/religion – draw the attention of those outsiders to the deficiencies in their own religions, as if that will justify the practice of female-feticide in our Sikh community.

    However, I am also saddened that some comments above, such as those by Gurmit, Jeetan, Satnam, seem to depict a state of denial. “No, it is not happening among Sikhs, but Punjabis.” “No, it is not religious, but social.” “No, we must not call these people as Sikhs”. etc

    Who are we to call someone a Sikh or not? And religion does not operate in a social or cultural vacuum.

    And it is all too easy for us to step back and blame the women. “Oh, if they only put up a fight for their rights and are not docile like a cow.” Come on! We are better than that.

    Finally, addressing the comment by Gurmit Singh, I would generally address it to all the Singhs out there. When we men read an article written by a woman on female-feticide, and all we have to say to the author is “Please continue to awaken (the women) because women are more important as otherwise human growth will suffer,” we are refusing to accept our role in this social process: Our role as a causal agents of this evil practice, and our potential role as abolishers of this practice. Female-feticide is not just a ‘female’ problem.

  9. kamallarosekaur

    Thank you so much Mr. Singh.

    Just like African Americans trapped in bondage were greatly assisted by abolitionists in the North, and just like Guru Gobind Singh and the Sikhs needed allies, and just like how so many brothers have supported, aided, and promoted women’s rights in the West with great, but still incomplete results – Sikh men should rise up as allies for Sikh women.

    I observe that Sikh men often encourage Sikh women to fight for our rights. Fight whom? They want fighting women to get in there and duke it out with the Singhs – woman to man? This is equality? To be able to join in debates with a pack of competitive Sikh men?

    – My brothers, often women don’t like to fight. Women don’t like to be around men fighting either. This is our great weakness? To not enjoy hanging around men who appear to prefer to hang around with men?

    Were Sikh men to make women’s rights (all women) their unified big push for 2009, that wouldbe a great transformation and positive world-wide publicity. It would be romantic. Guruji would love it.

    Of course Sikh women don’t need Sikh men as allies. We can scrap, bite and claw our way right through the whole pack of you. You don’t scare us.

    But it would be fun if Sikh men put Sikh women first for once. No fighting involved, but fun none the less. Good wholesome fun.

  10. Gurmit Singh

    Dear younger sister,
    Waheguru jee ka Khalsa Waheguru jee kee Fateh

    You have already covered the main aspects but it is very difficult task to convince other Sikh brothers and sisters, who are often influenced by Maya – worldly attachments, greed for money and ego – false society status.

    Despite our faults, we should always remember that birth & death is God’s prerogative and nothing is in our hands. Since we don’t follow God’s Divine Command, we continue to do such evils and commit errors deliberately. However, such evil practices could be controlled provided we try to comprehend and follow Gurbaani contained in the Guru Granth Sahib and Gurus’ Teachings, which they shared with the Sangat during 1469 to 1708.

    Some wordings, if possible to change –
    Guru Nanak Sahib;
    Guru Granth Sahib;
    Piri – Miri : Spiritual & Temporal;
    Articles of Faith, not symbols;
    DSGMC, not DGPC – Delhi Sikh Gurduaras Management Committee

    With best wishes,

  11. Angad Singh

    Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji ke Fateh

    My heart aches with you as well Sister, with no Kaurs to marry the the stupid Singhs will marry trash and further dilute Gurus word, My Sisters are the only ones actually looking after Guru in the Punjab.. Every morning they are up and at the Gurdwarras in all the villages of what is left of the Punjab. My Sisters see that Guru is cared for before going out in the fields all day in the sun and snakes. The Singh’s sleep in, eat food their wives have left them, then travel around all day playing dirty politics sitting in one air conditioning room to another. They call it net working, all they are doing is helping to kill off Sikhism.

    My Sisters, Aunties and Nieces I have tears in my eyes as I write. I am truly sorry for these stupid Singhs. I am like my big brother S. Gurmit Singh we are doing our little bit but it is like pushing water up hill with a rake.

    I think we must stop giving money to the Gurdwarras, take flowers when you go and see Living Guru. Then these Idiot Singhs will not have money to play around with. And I pray that after some time the cream will come to the top.

    Angad Singh Australia

  12. kamallarosekaur

    Blessings Gurmit Singh,

    I appreciate your concern and applaud your rooting for Sikh women to take a stronger stand. Ultimately Sikh women must value Sikh women and follow Guruji’s teachings, even if husbands disagree with us.

    I was not offended by the cow metaphor. Not from you. Elders are allowed to express frustration with youth (and vice versa). Again, I agree with you. Sikh women need to be Khalsa. I pray you get to witness a great rise in Gurmukhs worldwide before your deathday.

    I like Angad Singh’s plan to stop giving money to Gurdwaras that are male dominated.

  13. Gurmit Singh

    Waheguru jee ka Khalsa Waheguru jee kee Fateh

    Khalsa Angad Singh, who met me on 25 April 2008 for the first time, is very sincere and a well – wisher of the Sikhs. Since he has adopted Sikh
    religion with full understanding, I have been sharing my views.

    I agree with him because Money through Goluck
    and free Bheta donations have resulted rapid decline in the Sikh values. If there is no goluck and langar, Parbandhaks, who are nothing but Banaras Kay Thugg, will disappear and vanish and then only there will be some improvement.
    Unfortunately, Sikh masses are as ignorants as other exploited persons all over the world. Sometime I observe that the socalled educated and rich are great stupids.

    In the Guru Granth Sahib, at page 1372, we are reminded – “Bhagat Kabir jee says what can the True Guru do, when the disciples are at fault?”

    Within our limited resources and understanding, we should continue to raise our voice when our brothers and sisters are found to be otherwise?

    With best wishes and Charhdi Kalaa,

  14. Harmeet Singh

    I wanted to comment on your article. It is wonderfully written. However, I am in a dilemma here and I hope you can help me.

    Sikhs are divided between the social constructs and Sikhi. I believe this cultural psyche amogst Sikhs in Punjab which says – who will take care of them when they grow old when all of there daughters are married off. In their psyche sons are considered as the 401k or pension plans i.e. some good investment to depend upon that pays off once you are old. Here is the US people don’t worry about this because they already have Medicare,Public Aid, personal pension plans or 401k to care of vast majority of people.
    Over there people really fear about their future of becoming old which triggers this discrimination towards having boys. Now, it is surely a selfish psyche but I think we need work at the sociological level to bring out change in this behavior amongst Sikhs.

  15. Paula

    Thanks Kamalla for the article and fascinating discussion.

    I would like to know from Harmeet and others whether there is community property for married couples in India? Do siblings all help when parents get old, or do only daughters-in-laws care for elders?

  16. Harmander Singh

    Spreznib is too diplomatic to Sutprem who sounds as a lost suicide humanist.

    I would like to answer Paula’s question concening ‘community property’ if it could be clarified what is meant by the term.

    The answer is no to the bit about only daughters-in-law caring for the elderly – not all of the daughters-in-law do that as many sons and daughters give up their own independence to do so.

  17. kamallarosekaur

    Hi Harmander Singh,

    Paula wants to know if wives and husbands legally share all their assets? Do wives own equally what their husbands own? Do women in India have equal financial clout in the family, if women choose to use it?

    Here is the dictionary definition:

    A method for defining the ownership of property acquired during marriage, in which all earnings during marriage and all property acquired with those earnings are considered community property and all debts incurred during marriage are community property debts.

  18. kamallarosekaur

    PS: Actually Sutprem sounds to me like someone who is fed up with religion and maybe specifically with Sikhs. She did mention that she is a Yogi Bhajan cult survivor, so cut her some slack please. It wasn’t pretty what happened to us and Sikhs tend to side with the cult not with we anti-cult activists. She thinks I am silly for holding any expectation that Sikhs will not just continue to be male dominated. I can understand that. I think I am silly too.

  19. Harmeet Singh

    India is ruled by Hindu Code Bill. Now, to understand Hindu Law one must have understanding of Hinduism. This Hindu law is also imposed on minorities like Sikhs. It is discriminative against women and favor men. In India, Hindu Law restricts the rights of women in share of property and at times during divorce also. There is Hindu Succession law, Hindu family law, Hindu Marriage law etc that one can read on to find more. Nevertheless the cultural discrimination is strengthened by the use of Hindu law.

    Bill of Rights in the Indian Constitution:

    Recently Christian women, NOT Hindu were granted right to divorce husband but not that easy here again.


  20. kamallarosekaur

    Ouch. Hard to imagine having so little autonomy and legal protection.

    I got sent this song by Gurdas Mann, who is a popular singer in India. I believe he considers himself a Sikh and he is singing in Punjabi. He has a lovely voice and this song is clearly about what it like to be a daughter in India.

    I would appreciate it if someone can offer a rough translation of the lyrics.

    By Gurdas Mann

  21. Valerie Rose

    Kamala, what a powerful essay, thank you for sharing this important information. Female infanticide is heartbreaking, no matter which culture or religion fails to condemn this murder. China’s one-child-per-family policy, widespread poverty and historical discrimination against women makes it another center of female infanticide. Thank you for challenging this shameful truth that most people would rather ignore. Changing attitudes and laws is essential – the laws require enforcement, the attitudes ironically sometimes require a return to an authentic religious practice. You refer to the teachings of Guru Nanak, declaring women and men to be equals, if I understand you correctly.

  22. kamallarosekaur

    Hi Valerie Rose,

    Yes, Guru Nanak Sahib taught that all beings are equal.Sikh women do not take the names of their father’s or husband’s. There are no priests in Sikhi – men and women can participate in all roles, secular and spiritual.

  23. kamallarosekaur

    Here is a conversation between two Sikh men from Sikh-News-Discussion@yahoogroups:


    Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa, Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh:

    Why is a Sikh women less and Sikh man? A Sikh woman is more than a Sikh man as Guru Nanak clearly teaches to all of us. What will change if a woman becomes panj pyara? I think it will be a totally peaceful, successful, united world for Sikhs around the world if women are given more power. Sikh men have been running the Akal Takat and Sikh men have been panj pyaras for centuries, what good has came out for the Sikh community as a whole? We are more devided, more unorganized, more on the wrong track then ever in the Sikh history. We, Sikhs around the World, need a change and that change we can not afford to wait any longer to come.


    Good for YOU..Satnam Bains Ji.

    Well said and aptly put.

    Sikhi needs more such voices of reason and logic as yours…to progress. Right now its stagnation….from the ONE GURU KHALSA PANTH..into various deras, jathas, taksaals etc etc each saying his group is the one and only true path….their particular sant ji is only brahmgianai. .etc..their amrit si better..more shudh..blah blah..”MILLIONS” of Amrtidharees are being created..but NONE to be seen in PUNJAB….

    We need to go back to GURBANI and GURMATT instead of the GROSS MANMATT prevalent today among all Parcharaks, missionaries, Gyanis, Granthis, Raagis, Kirtaniyas, deras and taksaals including the Gurdwaras, Takhats, SGPC etc etc…Koi Haraih boot rahio ree is the call of the Day ?? many are perfectly willing and able to burn down the forest to save their own particular tree….

    The SARBATT da bhalla declare karan walleh GURU KE SIKH..aaaps wich he patteh hoyeh ne..sarbatt da kee bhalla sochangeh ??

    Women are equal in KHALSA.


    Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa, Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh:

    Thank you Jarnail Singh Ji,

    Sometimes i wounder if our Sikhs leaders even have a brain and logic of an ant. They are very wrong on many many issues. We, the Sikhs from the outside of the Sikh leaders circle, see things that should and should not our leaders be doing. But, why dosn’t that CLICK in the minds of our leaders? Are they just tooo dumb, lost their minds, dont care about the Sikhs, too greedy for their own pockets, given kick backs to destroy Sikhs for the benefit of others? What these Sikh leaders dont realize is that they are cutting the roots of their own trees by destroying Sikhie for their benefits. So, these leaders should realize, IS SHORT BENEFIT FOR FEW PEOPLE WORTH THE PRICE OF LONG TERM LOSS OF MANY? IS CUTTING THE ROOTS OF THEIR OWN TREE (destroying their own family, kids, relatives, friends, and Sikhs in large) WORTH THE PRICE OF FEW YEARS OF BENEIFTS? IS DESTROYING A WHOLE SOCIETY FOREVER WORTH THE PRICE OF BENEFITING ONE GENERATION?

  24. blazingrace

    Congratulations on returning to school! You have such a knack for writing, this can only be good. ……And maybe our new president and congress will make funds available to help you.

    Best of luck!

  25. surjitpal singh

    congratulation u r doning that work which is very helpfull for our humenbeing, God help u.
    best of luck

  26. Jvala Kaur

    Thank you for this insightful post; you brought out some key components that are troubling the Sikh community. I appreciate your perspective that it is “‘“Not Sikhi.” [but] Sikhs!'”, which sometimes fails to be distinguished withing discourses of gender inequality. When confronting gender inequities, we tend to hide behind the theoretical and forget to look at what is happening within our communities and institutions. Thank you for shining light on the issue of female foeticide.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s